YOGA: Journey Home to Healing
By: Candice Frazier, Certified Master Transformation Health & Life Coach, Life Skills Competency Educator
September is National Yoga Awareness Month, as well National Recovery Month, Childhood Obesity Awareness, Pain Awareness, Sexual Health Awareness, and is also National Suicide Prevention Day (September 10) and Suicide Prevention Week (September 8-14). Rounding out the month is National Women’s Health & Fitness Day (September 25) and Family Health & Fitness Day (September 28).
Why did I mention all these dates and causes for this article? Because I am a domestic violence advocate and survivor, as well as a 2x suicide survivor and have overcome multiple health issues when I found healing through my daily yoga and meditation practices. I have a passion to share this in hopes that I bring awareness and viable action steps to begin the process of healing to others. I fully believe that if we turn inward to self and nurture that inner being that is desperate to connect with us, we can find not only healing, but empathy, compassion and kindness that we can then extend outwardly to the rest of the world. I believe this is the focus for humanity to reclaim its peace and stop the constant violence.
In today’s world, we don’t have to look far to find headlines of violence and the trauma that follows it. It is pervasive but it also something that happens to many who hide the harsh reality of living in an unhealthy relationship and the complex dynamics of Intimate Partner Violence.
Then you add in the medications many are given to “help the mental health”, which in my own experience and many others, serves only to create further disconnect from self and ultimately society.
I have read many accounts of how violent acts were preceded by being on antidepressants and anti-psychotics. I personally had the experience of feeling unbalanced and out of sorts and in a manic state after being given antidepressants and one of the medications caused me to become even more suicidal. Imagine taking a medicine that is supposed to help you but ends up making you believe if you were just gone, everyone would be better off, or worse that others should suffer too.
The irony is, the pill is only a band-aid to the bigger problem. Our disconnect with self and the unhealed and often unaddressed stored and unprocessed pain of trauma, neglect and abandonment is the real culprit.
A pill does not address the inner being operating from impaired birth rights and limiting beliefs while running on old programming and patterns. And in most modalities of talk therapy, the focus is on the past/trauma and how it makes us feel, act and carry out our daily life, not on positive intentions of the experience or how to overcome those struggles. The true tools of coming back into self and how to do so often goes unmentioned. The consequences of this approach are far reaching and is the biggest cause of relationship imbalances.
When we first start a relationship, we have all the high hopes for happiness and longevity. But often that is not the outcome. Instead, when the relationship is unhealthy what we may end up experiencing is misery, confusion and ultimately failing health.
This risk is greater if we have unhealed childhood wounds, have not been taught healthy boundaries and experience a self-love deficit. This combination is what sets us up to be at a much higher risk of getting involved in a toxic and emotionally unbalanced partnership.
Now, please know, that none of this your fault. Until there is awareness of the role we play in the unhealthy relationship, we are going to remain stuck in the cycle. I have lived this firsthand and as I worked through my old patterns, my ego was in up in arms that I had anything to do with the chaos and dysfunction of my life.
But healing can not come from a prideful or defensive heart. Healing comes through first forgiving ourselves and then the ones who have harmed us. The tool that has helped me tremendously with the anger, resentment and hurt is the ho’oponopono mediation:
“Please forgive me. I forgive you. I am sorry. I love you. Thank you.”. Whenever I feel those lower vibrational emotions come to surface, I greet them with the mediation and send them love and positive energy. I not only reclaim my personal power this way, but I also raise my vibration to a healthier state, thus allowing in healing energy.
In my book Dancing with Disorder, I talk about how the most insidious part of domestic violence and trauma is the brains insatiable need to cling to familiar, even when it is toxic and causing health issues. The brain is so determined to survive, it forgets it has potential to not only survive but THRIVE from it. The brain is merely doing what it is designed to do…survive the survivable. It will label the unfamiliar, risky and unsafe as not survivable. As a result, it keeps the person from seeking help and rebuilding a new life without the abuse. This coupled with the conflicting emotions of love vs hate, pain vs comfort, familiar vs foreign, leaves victims in a state of confusion called cognitive dissonance.
I know from personal experience the chaos and confusion of a trauma bond and how extremely complex and difficult it is to overcome. The great news is that I also know it can be overcome. I teach these tools to my clients so they can find the healthier version of themselves.
WHERE TO START:
The first key to trauma recovery is awareness. Without awareness, we can not set a clear path out of the chaos to heal. The cognitive dissonance that comes with toxic relationships makes it difficult to gain awareness and understanding because the person is unable to make sense of what is happening. The tactics the abuser uses, knocks the victim “offline” with self and their intuition by making them unable to gain awareness of the situation. They become so conflicted to feel love and longing one second, only to be in submerged in a flood of memories from the unpleasant experiences, making it very difficult to reconcile with the true nature and reality of the relationship. The brain is busy making excuses for the behaviors as it works diligently to keep the victim safe from any change, even safety from the abuser.
This is why you will see people go back to the abuser repeatedly and not understand why and then loath themselves for not being able to stay away, further enmeshing them into the abuser’s stronghold on their perception of their worthiness affecting their heart and soul. This is where many exist in the energy of self-loathing, guilt, shame, fear, rejection, doubt, loss of safety and belonging as they watch their hopes and dreams of happily ever after fading away.
Without clear awareness, one cannot take empowered action and remove themselves from the toxic environment. Until one goes inward to self and seeks to nurture self and soul, the emotional overload of negative thoughts and feelings leaves no space for new energy to come in and provide healing. When your heart is broken, the pain and hurt you feel creates inflammation in the brain and body as well as disconnect from our truest self.
HOW YOGA HELPS:
This is where YOGA comes in and saves the day and revamps your body, mind and soul while activating self-healing. Once you begin honoring your body and mind, the transformation begins, and you can begin to breathe life back into self instead of surviving.
When overcoming trauma, it is essential to first reconnect to self in order to begin to heal. Trauma shuts an individual off from feeling and recognizing what the body is telling them. It is not their fault; their whole system has been under assault.
Trauma also changes how we breathe, digest food and how our body functions.
While one cannot control another, the thing a survivor does have control over is self-care, self-love and self-talk. This is the secret ingredient. All healing starts with self, and once we can acknowledge our own healing ability, we can begin to see new possibilities.
These essential life skills can indeed rewrite the story with self and help you heal, stop surviving and finally begin to thrive.
I would encourage you to check out your local yoga studio, or you can access many videos online to begin your yoga practice. Yoga can be traced as far back as nearly 5,000 years ago and its original intention was to allow the practice of meditation, prayer, restore energy and allow healing!
While modern yoga focus is on more of the physical aspect, the ways of the old yoga model were focused on mindfulness of chanting, spirituality and meditation as well as physical.
My personal favorite of yoga is the calm that I create when I am on my mat with just myself and my thoughts. I get to let go of expectations, perfection and fear and go back to the Source inside me.
The day I began my yoga practice was the day I transformed my healing.
Benefits of Yoga:
- You Overcome Great Adversity
- Connects Mind & Body
- Increases Strength & Flexibility
- Releases Toxins from the Body
- Improve Balance & Posture
- Reduces Stress & Restores Energy
If you were ever curious about yoga being something beneficial to you, I highly recommend being open to the magic of allowing it to become your happy place. That special place you get excited about visiting daily.
And if you are ready to take a deeper dive into those self-defeating thoughts, limiting beliefs and old storylines to write a new one, please reach out to me. My 90 Day Total Transformation Programs will spiral into the imprints keeping you stuck and unhealthy.
If it is time to act, and you are ready to give yourself love, come home to self, experience balanced bliss and leave the chaos and confusion of trauma behind, reach out. Only you have the power to take the first step to reclaim your freedom from pain and illness and create the life you desire.
HOW I HELP
If you are struggling with your self-care and self-love, I am trained to help individuals like yourself transform their mindset and limiting beliefs so that they can find forgiveness, be their best friend, have fun and be on their path to self-care success!
With the magic of transformational coaching, I can help you heal from thought patterns and beliefs that are keeping you stuck, so that you can easily shift your habits and behaviors at a deeper level.
As your coach, we will get to the root cause of your struggles and uncover the self-sabotage programming in the brain. Awareness allows room for change! Take advantage of this incredible opportunity NOW! I will teach you how to shift your thinking in a way that works for you, not against you.
Let’s connect and learn more about how to transform your wish into your reality.
Let’s schedule our first 100% no strings attached coaching session. In this session, discover how working together can create successful self-care for you which allows an increase of self-love, allowing you to feel more healthy, alive and free than ever.
Contact me and MENTION: “BACK2ME911”.
In my practice, I teach how the simple basics of self-love through sensual self-care for your soul is the ultimate form of self-love. Self-love opens the door to living an empowered and full life, be fully accepting of self, full of abundant joy, love and prosperity and create happiness instead of chasing it.
If it is time to take action, just one small step is all it takes to start the shift, reach out to me.
To begin your transformation, message me at 916-542-9853, or firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule your complimentary coaching session (90 minutes ABSOLUTELY FREE!)
I look forward to having a fun, friendly and fantastic conversation with you!
Remember to LOVE SELF FIRST. Be the peace, patience & compassion that the world needs more of.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Advocates Available 24/7, FREE & Confidential Website: www.thehotline.org
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Advocates Available 24/7, FREE & Confidential Website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
For Deaf and Hard of Hearing 1-800-799-4889
Video Relay Service 1-800-273-8255
Voice/Caption Phone: 1-800-273-8255
Online Chat available on website
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Candice is a Certified Master Transformation Health & Life Coach, Self-Love Expert, former Certified Medical Assistant and an Air Force Veteran. She an Author, “Sensuality of Self Care” (coming Fall 2019). Founder of Wellness with Candice/Dragonfly Devas and Elite Care Coaching Consultants. She is also the Creator / Host of The Self Care Success Show Podcast coming July 2019.
Implementing a holistic/alternative health approach, she overcame the adversity of childhood abuse & trauma, and is a 2x suicide survivor. She has overcome own health struggles of multiple autoimmune illnesses and debilitating fibromyalgia, and narcissistic abuse.
Her A-HA moment came when she realized that all the disease and illness in her body, was it communicating to her that she was not in alignment with her truth and was ignoring her intuition. After tuning into her intuition and allowing it to guide her in her daily actions, her new reality is now health, peace, happiness and connection to self.
Her goal is to teach humanity how to be complete mind, body and spirit through reconnecting to love of self through sensuality of their self-care to create confidence, intimacy and prosperity.
As a Life Skills Competency Educator and Global Presence Life Skills Ambassador for Parenting 2.0, her passion is to share the knowledge that not only are the skills needed to for self-care success easily learned, true wellness and healing is possible.
Her healing was not found in a pill or in doctor’s office. Her healing was right inside her all along, and with the help of her own Internal Guru, and successful self-care, abundant self-love, and emotional literacy she can now enjoy a fuller life.
She will empower you to honor your need for sensuality and guide you in way that excites you to show up for your daily self-care date with yourself. Her philosophy is that self-love is the path to freedom and happiness that allows you to live an empowered and full life and be the best version of you possible for self and others.