Ask Dr. Paula

By: Dr. Paula Joyce, The Life Doctor

Best-Selling Author, Top-Ranked Radio Host,.

Question: Lately it seems like I’m angry all the time. When I express my anger, I feel guilty. I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?

 

Use Your Anger

First of all, you are not alone. An explosion of anger is occurring all over the world. We are seeing it in the news and in our personal lives with increased verbal and physical violence, bullying, chaos and fear. My clients are experiencing it and more people are seeking help with anger.

Many of us were taught that anger is bad and good people don’t get angry. We were supposed to control our emotions, not talk back to authority and be polite. Some of us experienced serious emotional or physical consequences for expressing our anger. The truth is that anger is just an emotion and when understood can actually help you grow and heal. If you have spent years keeping your anger under wraps, be aware that this leads to a buildup of stress that can cause anxiety disorders, depression or physical or mental illness. Your feelings are there for a reason. We are human beings and that means we feel fear, love, anger, jealousy, etc. If you haven’t been allowing yourself to feel your anger, you may be expressing it in unhealthy ways now.

Few of us were taught how to feel, process and let go of pain. As an adult, you can now choose to learn this skill. You must begin by not criticizing yourself for feeling anger. That’s what makes you human. Robots don’t feel. People do. The key is what you do with your anger. Do you hurt other people or do you recognize that the anger is a signal, announcing that you are not getting your needs met or you feel helpless or are afraid of being hurt? If you’ve had a lifetime of not being heard, feeling invisible or being punished for expressing yourself, your anger may explode when you first begin to feel it. When you can connect that deep well of anger to its source, you can begin to let it go and express yourself in healthier and healthier ways. If you use your anger appropriately, you can change your life.

Transform Your Anger Into Action

Is your anger constructive or destructive? Is this the person you’re really angry with or are they just convenient? Are you pulling out a laundry list of complaints or are you sticking to the immediate problem? Are you blasting the person’s character or are you speaking with strength and no malice? This is a process, not an event. Over time, you will learn how to stand up for yourself appropriately. I knew I had learned this lesson when the interactions started ending with shared laughter or someone saying to me: I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you initially or Thank you.

If you are not being treated well, it’s an act of self-love to tell someone, even a boss, best-friend, child or spouse. If there’s a pattern of that person not listening to you, it may be a sign that you are in an unhealthy relationship. You can’t make someone treat you well, but you can turn your anger into action and leave or set boundaries.

When you’re dealing with people in the service industry, you also have the right to be heard and respected. If they choose not to listen, insist on talking to a supervisor. Sometimes that means arguing with someone. You must have the inner strength and courage to insist on getting what is rightfully yours. There’s always a different service provider. You have choices.

Techniques for Protection and Healing Anger

In these troubling times, you can help protect yourself from other people’s anger by imagining yourself being surrounded in silver light. Do this every morning, and during the day as you feel the need.

Rose quartz will help you heal the source of your anger in a gentle way. Wear a piece of rose quartz jewelry or carry a small piece with you in your pocket or purse.

Take a deep breath and imagine yourself being filled with pink light from the loving energy in the Universe. This will help you dissipate the anger.

Monitor Your Progress by asking yourself: Is my anger appropriate to the situation? Is the intensity of my anger diminishing? Is the duration of my anger shorter? Is my recovery time faster? Is the amount of time between angry outbursts greater? When you’re changing a behavior, it’s important to notice small changes over time. Give yourself credit for your progress . . . And celebrate your victories!

 

Dr. Paula Joyce, The Life Doctor

Best-Selling Author

Top-Ranked Radio Show: Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit, www.VoiceAmerica.com

Named a Leading Expert, Dr. Paula uses spiritual tools to help you create the life of your dreams, www.PaulaJoyce.com

Internationally Shown Artist, www.PaulaJoyceDesigns.com

 

Calendar

Dr. Paula Joyce

April 5  Creative Problem Solving: Group Coaching meetup with Dr. Paula Joyce, 11:30am-1pm, 15251 Segovia Dr., Dallas 75248. Integrate and align information in your conscious and unconscious mind, remove hidden blocks and solve your most challenging problems. RSVP required. www.paulajoyce.com

April 6   People’s Dying Words Point to an Afterlife with Lisa Smartt on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit with Dr. Paula Joyce, Empowerment Channel on VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Listen live at 10am CST or anytime on-demand, www.VoiceAmerica.com

April 13  Essential Oils for Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Health with Kac Young, PhD, on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit with Dr. Paula Joyce, Empowerment Channel on VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Listen live at 10am CST or anytime on-demand, www.VoiceAmerica.com

April 15   Love Frequency Circle with Dr. Paula Joyce, 3:15-4:30pm, 5625 Hummingbird Lane, Fairview 75069. A guided meditation to raise the vibration within yourself and on the earth for peace and love. RSVP [email protected]

April 20   How to be Happy in the Midst of Problems with Maria Felipe on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit with Dr. Paula Joyce, Empowerment Channel on VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Listen live at 10am CST or anytime on-demand, www.VoiceAmerica.com

April 22  Freedom From Pain Workshop, You’ll experience techniques to help you become pain-free or decrease your pain without any drugs, 2-3:30 pm, Dallas Meditation Center, 4801 Spring Valley Rd # 115, Dallas 75244 www.paulajoyce.com for details.

April 27  Joy Fixes for Weary Parents with Erin Leyba on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit with Dr. Paula Joyce, Empowerment Channel on VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Listen live at 10am CST or anytime on-demand, www.VoiceAmerica.com.

May 3  Creative Problem Solving: Group Coaching meetup with Dr. Paula Joyce, 11:30am-1pm, 15251 Segovia Dr., Dallas 75248. Integrate and align information in your conscious and unconscious mind, remove hidden blocks and solve your most challenging problems. RSVP required. www.paulajoyce.com

May 4  Stop The Negative Voices and Find Inner Peace with Atherton Drenth on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit with Dr. Paula Joyce, Empowerment Channel on VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Listen live at 10am CST or anytime on-demand, www.VoiceAmerica.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Executive/Life Coach, Speaker

Ask Dr. Paula how she can uplift your life. Send your questions to: [email protected]