Question for June:  On your radio show, you’ve talked about the importance of letting go of the guilt we all carry. I struggle with how to do this. Can you help me?

 Guilt Destroys Your Joy

By: Dr. Paula Joyce, The Life Doctor, Best-Selling Author, Top-Ranked Radio Show

None of us are perfect. We all do and say things we wish we hadn’t. Some are more serious than others and may cause a greater pang of guilt. When we hang onto the guilt, we become our own jailer. It’s as if we’ve sentenced ourselves to a lifetime of pain without the possibility of parole. The key to letting ourselves out of jail is self-forgiveness.

Guilt is designed to teach us, to help us become more ethical, compassionate, empathetic and loving human beings. It’s a signal, pointing out that we may not have been our best self when we said or did a particular thing. The healthy use of guilt is to examine what we did, self-correct in the moment if we can or determine how we will do it differently next time, sincerely apologize when appropriate, forgive ourselves and go on with our day. Where most of us get caught is in the inability to forgive ourselves. We replay the experience over and over again in our minds, punishing ourselves with what we consider to be our stupidity. We hold on to it, usually building it way out of proportion. Other people have moved on and we’re stuck in the muck.

One of my radio show guests, Lynn Russell, studied 2500 near-death experiences. Her most important discovery was surprising. There is no Hell in the after-life—except that created through one’s own guilt. Likewise, when we constantly relive our guilt here, we create our own hell on earth and destroy our joy. Focusing on what we did wrong in the past, leaves us unable to appreciate the present and extract the beauty of the Now.

Techniques for Letting Go of Guilt

• Use the concept of the serenity prayer. If you can do something about it, do it. If you can’t do anything about it, accept it and learn for the next time.
• Realize the truth of our existence. We are here to learn and grow as human beings and souls. Focus on the learning and growth rather than eating up your energy with self-blame.
• Forgive yourself. You can see yourself as a younger person. Even if the incident just happened 5 seconds ago, you are now older and wiser as a result of seeing where you still need to grow.
• Be kind to yourself. The kind voice is the voice of love, the energy of the Divine. Literally erase the critical words that are repeating in your mind and replace them with healing words that feel authentic to you. Some examples might be: “I’m always learning.” “I did better this time than the last time I was in a similar situation.” “I’m proud of myself for …”
• Fill yourself with love from the Divine and it will force out the guilt. Breathe in white light and feel it filling your entire being. Breath is connected to your soul. Use it to fill with positivity.
• Let the guilt pass through you and into the ground. Research shows that if you wait 90 seconds, the negative feelings will pass.
• I use this technique every morning to help me release past guilt and other negative emotions and to avoid holding onto negativity as it occurs throughout the day. This will help you heal, balance and stabilize your emotions: “I ask the Universal Pink Heart of Love to surround me, the Universal Turquoise Heart of Love to surround the pink heart and the Universal White Heart of Love to surround both and that a gold cord go from the bottom of my heart chakra into the center of the earth.” The Universal Heart of Love in various colors is extremely powerful because it is pure love. Where there is love, no fear, stress, anxiety, guilt or any other negative emotion can exist.
• Be conscious of whether you’re feeling guilty for something that you need to correct or because of false beliefs. Sometimes we’ve been taught other people are more important than we are. This is not true. If you enjoy giving to others, that’s great. Just remember: If the well is dry, you have nothing to give. Relationships should be balanced, with people both giving and receiving.

As always, be patient with yourself. This is a process, not an event. Remember, You Are Loved.

Dr. Paula Joyce, The Life Doctor, Best-Selling Author, Top-Ranked Radio Show: Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit, www.VoiceAmerica.com, Named a Leading Expert, Dr. Paula uses spiritual tools to help you create the life of your dreams, www.PaulaJoyce.com, Internationally Shown Artist, www.PaulaJoyceDesigns.com, E-book: 33 Tips for Self-Empowerment, www.PaulaJoyce.com

Ask Dr. Paula how she can uplift your life:  [email protected]

Upcoming Events:

June 1  Stress Reduction Through Mindfulness with Dr. Linda Lehrhaupy on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit with Dr. Paula Joyce, Empowerment Channel on VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Listen live at 10am CST or anytime on-demand, www.Paula Joyce.com.

June 7  Creative Problem Solving: Group Coaching meetup with Dr. Paula Joyce, 11:30am-1pm, 15251 Segovia Dr., Dallas 75248. Integrate and align information in your conscious and unconscious mind, remove hidden blocks and solve your most challenging problems. RSVP required. www.PaulaJoyce.com

June 8  Writing to Heal from Trauma, Illness or Loss with Sandra Marinella on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit with Dr. Paula Joyce, Empowerment Channel on VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Listen live at 10am CST or anytime on-demand, www.PaulaJoyce.com.

June 15   Demystifying Enlightenment with Steve Taylor on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit with Dr. Paula Joyce, Empowerment Channel on VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Listen live at 10am CST or anytime on-demand, www.PaulaJoyce.com

June 17  Learning to Think and Live Without Fear, Workshop with Dr. Paula Joyce. You will: take charge of your thoughts; replace fear, stress and worry with love, joy and peace; and master techniques to use on your own. Where there is love, there can be no fear. Dallas Meditation Center, 810 West Arapaho Road, Suite 98, Richardson, TX 75080, 2-3:30 pm, www.PaulaJoyce.com for details.

June 22  Overcoming Your Difficult Family with Eric Maisel on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit  with Dr. Paula Joyce, Empowerment Channel on VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Listen live at 10am CST or anytime on-demand, www.PaulaJoyce.com

June 29  Healing Through Astrology, Geometry and Sound with Jennifer Gehl on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit with Dr. Paula Joyce, Empowerment Channel,  VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Listen live at 10am CST or anytime on-demand, www.PaulaJoyce.com.

July 5  Creative Problem Solving: Group Coaching meetup with Dr. Paula Joyce, 11:30am-1pm, 15251 Segovia Dr., Dallas 75248. Integrate and align information in your conscious and unconscious mind, remove hidden blocks and solve your most challenging problems. RSVP required. www.PaulaJoyce.com

July 6  Consciousness is What We Are with Jude Currivan on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit with Dr. Paula Joyce, Empowerment Channel on VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Listen live at 10am CST or anytime on-demand, www.PaulaJoyce.com.